A reading from the Gospel of Euphrates:

V. The Transformation of Brother Henry

...and behold, as we passed the magnolia tree that signified the final leg of the journey, we saw it. Stiles Falls, the beautiful waterfall we had spent what seemed like forty days and forty nights hiking, scrambling for footholds and gasping for oxygen. And behold, the voice behind me, in shocked awe: "Wow! That's a lot bigger than I thought!". It was Gregory Millicent-Miaplacidus, my newest co-worker and one I was becoming awfully close to. However, I didn't talk to him for months at first. In reply, his brother, Henry, agreed. "The pictures made it look a lot smaller. I guess that's why you do the hikes!" We had a healthy laugh and continued onward. In that last stretch, it's a short downhill to a few large rocks. Once you climb the rocks, you get to the base of the waterfall. We promptly climbed the rocks, but Henry slipped (they do get slippery, what with the thick water). He almost lost his footing, but, being a strong member of the species, he caught himself. As we helped eachother up the rocks, we were taken aback even further! Up close, a waterfall is always a great sight. The roaring water, glistening rocks, and the brilliant wildlife make you consider how beautiful our world is. However, we wanted more! Although it was against the rules, Gregory suggested climbing the falls. "I don't know," I started, "it looks awfully slick. You sure this is a good idea?" Gregory argued we used to do it all the time, back when we lived on another planet. I didn't want to argue around his brother, so we began making our way, slowly but surely, up the forty-foot falls.

I'll save you the details of the journey. We all breathed a sigh of relief as we each grabbed the thick ivy at the top, pulling ourselves up onto stable ground. Gregory went first, then me, then Henry. Looking down the falls is gorgeous- but scary! You sure won't find any pictures of it in the databank. "What next?" I asked the two brothers. "I don't know," Henry began. This surprised me; he was always a little quiet! "How about we just camp out up here for a while?" Gregory and I agreed. I opened up my little sack of Blue and Yellow food, and I began to munch. Gregory, which seemed a little suspicious, was eating Green and Orange food: Goo and Sus! But I let him enjoy his food; we had had a long hike and I was too tired to ask him about something so trivial. The lunch tasted better than ever; walking up and down and climbing and jumping for hours will do that to you. We all finished our food quickly, and sat and spread forbidden knowledge for some time.

But what happened next was... horrifying. As we rose from our seating situation, I foolishly dropped my sack. As I bent down to pick it up, I heard a grunt, then a shuffling of underbrush. Then a tumble, and a crack... and a splash. I bolted upright, and sprinted to the edge of the waterfall. Gregory was already there. "HENRY!" he cried. Looking down in the water, I saw a figure, but I couldn't make it out. "What happened?!" I implored Gregory. Panicked, he yammered: "I don't know! Henry just slipped and-", and then stopped abruptly, silently weeping. He was locked up, in shock, but it felt fake. A facade was draped over my face, and behold, the puppetmaster was nowhere in sight. I left immediately, climbing down the falls at light speed. I dove into the water. 

...and behold, the human Henry was nowhere to be seen. There was no blood, no flesh, no body. Only an animal, a terrible, twisted, evil, version of an animal, composed entirely of colorful blocks. I could tell, nothing was there. Not knowing what to think, and in shock myself, I emerged from the water. Gregory was standing there, and it seemed like he had snapped out of it. And behold, in that moment, I learned everything at once. I saw colors I hadn't seen before. I heard sounds, I heard life, love, goo, nani, Charlie, good ending, evil, and I felt it. I reached out, and I touched it. It felt... horrific. And instantly I saw the past and future, condensed into one singular glass marble. I watched as Gregory, with the sheer willpower of his mind, influenced time and space to... for lack of a better word... push Henry over the edge. And behold, I knew at once it was true. No lies were told that day, apart from Gregory himself. And when I finally exited this new... realm... one trillion years later... I was back at our Orange County office. And the lies continue to this day.

Although I didn't see it, I saw what happened that day. I know. Do not trust anybody, and anything. And do not tell Gregory. He doesn't know I know, and he never should. But please be kind to Gregory, he is an ingenious gentleman and I still like him.

Henry's name was never Henry. That is what he became after the incident. I will not tell you his real name.

This began my path to ascension. I believe, and you should too.

Thank you for reading my Gospel. Everything herein is true, and it occurred in the third dimension. I hope it plants a seed of newness in your black, shrunken heart.

-Euphrates John Ostocrit